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The Von Haessler Doctrine

Weekdays, 9AM-12PM

Eric Von Haessler

The Von Haessler Doctrine

The steadfast Libertarian with an open mind, Atlanta radio listeners have been tuning in to hear the commentary and humor of Eric Von Haessler for nearly 20 years. "Think of 'The Von Haessler Doctrine' as The World According to Eric”, says Eric.

The Von Haessler Doctrine S5/E048 - Hammock Hierarchy

Topics: Join Eric and the Doctrinaires as they chat about Trump and Stahl, Lindsey's sexuality, Lizzie's lineage, and much more! "Sponsored by Mr. Mister Mosquito Control"
Posted: October 15, 2018

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The Von Haessler Doctrine S5/E047 - Live from Ceviche Taqueria

Topics: Join Eric and the Doctrinaires as they chat about Georgia polling, facial recognition, dog beer, and much more! "Sponsored by Mr. Mister Mosquito Control"
Posted: October 12, 2018

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The Von Haessler Doctrine S5/E046 - The 'M' Word

Topics: Join Eric, Kirk Mellish, and the Doctrinaires as they chat about Michael mayhem, National Coming Out Day, Arnold's past, and much more!
Posted: October 11, 2018

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More audio replays

The Doctrine Daily Doodles by Tim Andrew
Tim Andrews doodles during the show everyday. Here is the end result of his efforts. Click the image to see more. 
The Host
Atlanta radio listeners have been tuning in to hear the commentary and humor of Eric Von Haessler for nearly 20 years. He co-founded 'The Regular Guys' show in Los Angeles in 1995 before bringing that show to the ATL and 96 Rock in 1998. 'The Regular Guys' show quickly became a ratings juggernaut and genuine Atlanta radio institution.  After running afoul of the FCC and political correctness one too many times the show left 96 Rock and was revived on Rock 100.5 from 2008 to 2013. Through it all Haessler continued to please audiences as the steadfast Libertarian with an open mind, and the driver of the daily 'News Jog' segment. Eric was—by his own account—the worst stand-up comedian of the roaring 80’s. He began his radio career by producing a Top 40 morning show in the early 90's in Western N.Y. and quickly knew he had found a home for his talents. Radio hasn't been able to get rid of him since. Now Eric is on-air with ‘The Von Haessler Doctrine’, live on News 95.5 and AM 750 WSB. He also creates three shows per week (The Digital Doctrine) that are available only on the WSB Radio app. Von Haessler:  'After leaving The Regular Guys in 2013, I wanted to be smart about choosing my next radio show. I didn't want to do anything without creative control. I've seen too many friends leave a successful show and disappoint themselves and their fans by jumping on to somebody else's idea of good radio. WSB is obviously the best radio station in town and it's just my good fortune that they trust me to do the show I want to do.” 'Think of 'The Von Haessler Doctrine' as -The World According to Eric”, says Von Haessler, “I'm sick and tired of self-righteous people yelling past one another and calling it political debate. I've had enough of political tribes that continually look to undermine one another and call it good governance. It's time to start acting like adults again. Enough of the whining and moaning. It's time to get back to work. It's time to build. That's 'The Von Haessler Doctrine.'' 'In some ways I think of it as a comedy show that tackles serious issues. That can get a bit messy at times… but why not get messy? It's fun!'  - Eric Von Haessler. Email the show at vonhaesslerdoctrine@wsbradio.com.

The EVH Bit Machine

Von Haessler Doctrine Special Features

Hear bits that Eric and the Doctrinaires played on previous shows!

Kavanaugh!

Topics: Demented Don and the Donalds do it again with this latest parody song about SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh.
Posted: September 25, 2018

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Everyday Trump Writes the Book

Topics: Enjoy Demented Don and the Donald's with a twist on a classic.
Posted: September 13, 2018

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Don't Fear the Reefer (Song Parody)

Topics: Demented Don's latest attempt to get AG Jeff Sessions to relax.
Posted: August 31, 2018

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Living on the Edge

Topics: The President claps back at Aerosmith.
Posted: August 23, 2018

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Demented Don's Protest Song

Topics: President Trump's latest song hits on two fronts that Eric doesn't like.
Posted: August 14, 2018

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Under my Thumb

Topics: Vladimir Putin sings about his buddy, President Trump.
Posted: July 17, 2018

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F-Bombs in History

Topics: Great leaders explain how the f-bomb was actually used effectively to influence future generations.
Posted: July 10, 2018

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The Final Countdown

Topics: President Trump reveals his love of Europe.
Posted: July 09, 2018

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Hands-Free!

Topics: The latest offering from Demented Donald's Parody All Stars.
Posted: July 02, 2018

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Born to be Wild

Topics: Demented Donald's latest parody song.
Posted: June 27, 2018

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Dirty Inside

Topics: President Trump's latest parody takes a shot at the cleanliness of the Red Hen restaurant.
Posted: June 25, 2018

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Blame Obama

Topics: President Trump serenades us and lets us know that it's not his fault.
Posted: June 22, 2018

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Space Force!

Topics: Captain Trump envisions a new military branch.
Posted: June 19, 2018

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President Trump/Kim - Islands in the Stream

Topics: A duet from your two favorite world leaders.
Posted: June 15, 2018

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Dotard vs. Rocketman

Topics: The latest superhero movie trailer has dropped!
Posted: June 11, 2018

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The Battle of Canada Orleans

Topics: President Trump (Tim Andrews) sings an ole' folk song about Canada burning down the White House.
Posted: June 07, 2018

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Trump describes his letter from Kim Jung Un

Topics: Trump got a really big envelope from Kim Jung Un and had to sing about it.
Posted: June 04, 2018

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Trade War on Hold

Topics: Eric called the trade war between the US and China and it is indeed on hold
Posted: May 23, 2018

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A listener sends his love to Autumn

Topics: This is the 'Ode to Autumn Fischer.'
Posted: May 16, 2018

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Audio of President Trump and Sean Hannity's late-night call

Topics: Tim performs this comedy bit on the Von Haessler Doctrine.
Posted: May 16, 2018

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THE DOCTRINAIRES

Jared Yamamoto is the Lead Researcher/Producer for the fastest growing radio show in America, The Von Haessler Doctrine on News 95.5 and AM750 WSB in Atlanta, Georgia. He graduated from the University of West Georgia with a degree in Mass Communications, minoring in Political Science. Jared began his professional radio career in Atlanta at iHeart Radio’s 640 WGST as an Associate Producer for the Rob and Dave Show. Jared then moved to Cox Media Group’s WSB Radio in the fall of 2012 and quickly became the Producer of Atlanta’s Evening News with Erick Erickson. While working at WSB, Jared also produced 2012 U.S. presidential candidate Herman Cain’s nationally syndicated radio show. Jared is a mainstay at WSB and is plugged in with today’s politics, policies and current events and is happy to share them with you. You can hear Jared daily on WSB with the entire gang from 9-11 in the morning.
Autumn met Eric Von Haessler, and her fellow Doctrinaires, while interning for The Regular Guys Show. Eventually, being the friendly hard worker she is, she started working for the promotions department and soon started doing some local and national commercial spots and jingles. She was also given the opportunity to have a radio show with the prestigious time slot of 2am-6am. Autumn worked with Eric on various projects before returning to college to earn her bachelor's degree in Linguistics, concentrating on teaching English as a second language and learning American Sign Language. These skills are proving to be very helpful for her career in radio. After teaching for a year or two, Eric offered her a spot on his podcast which did pretty well, as far as podcasts go, catching the attention of WSB radio. I'm sure Eric's many years in radio had nothing to do with it. Autumn has listened to WSB since she was in Kindergarten. She literally used to have WSB set as the station to wake her up in the morning to go to school. They used to have a 'typical' type of morning radio show. Did you know that? Autumn did...(when she was five). Autumn couldn't be more proud to be a part of a radio station that has made such an impact on her life and in Atlanta radio.
Tim Andrews began his radio career in 1989 working for WNBT-FM in Wellsboro Pennsylvania. After that he moved onto country radio doing “The Cooking Country” show on WQIX-FM in Elmira, NY. Tim moved to Atlanta in 1996 where he got a job with the late Z-93 and eventually made his way to 96 rock where he joined Eric Von Haessler as a producer for The Regular Guys Show. In 2015 Tim left radio to work for Ammazza Pizza in Atlanta. Eric enticed Tim back to radio with promises of laughter, fun, hard work, and the chance to hang out with English Nick. When he's not working Tim likes to have fun with his two dogs cat and lovely girlfriend. He likes comedy, animation, pop-culture, being a fly in the political ointment, and spending way too much time on the Internet. Tim is available for birthday parties or any voiceover need you may have and also hosts a podcast of his own called Radio Labyrinth. Most importantly, Tim loves you!
English Nick has been on Rock Radio in Atlanta since 1999 starting and worked with Eric Von Haessller for the first time during their time together at WKLS 96 Rock. Eric and Nick remained friends ever since and now are so excited to be working together on News 95.5/750 AM WSB. Nick’s is still “talking up the records” as Eric calls it on 97.1 The River 7pm to midnight Monday through Friday. He also is a co owner of Dr Bombay’s tea shop in Candler Park! Nick presents “Outrage Corner” every week on the Von Haessller Doctrine so if you've got some outrage to share, get it to him.
It took Greg three months to write his bio, putting it off by claiming to be busy, though he never really gave any insight into what that meant. When he finally did send something, this is what it read: 'You want to know more about me? Why? What does it matter? Does anyone really care? Just writing about myself and putting it out there as if people are interested is self-serving. People will probably read it and think, 'This guy is a jerk to think I have any regard to his existence.' So, I'd rather not make that assumption. If someone really wants to know more, they can email me. I'll gladly respond to them. When I'm not busy.' After several requests for something a bit more in-depth (most of which were ignored), we received this at 3:37 one morning: 'Okay. I'll write about my radio experience, hopefully quelling any idea I'm a complete fraud. ''I started as an intern for the Regular Guys in January of 2001. It was there I formed a friendship with Eric, though that was quite an uphill battle, as Eric was initially cold and excluding. Maybe it was the backwards baseball hat and ball bearing necklace I would wear at the time. If I saw a guy like that, I would've been cold and excluding too. Eventually I won him over by fooling him into thinking I was funny and smart. ''While interning, the company that owned 96Rock launched a small alternative rock station - 96.7 The Buzz. Being a cheap corporation, they didn't want to hire any real talent, assuming they could get kids around the station to fill out the on-air roster for low pay and promotional items. They were right. I put together a demo and once again I fooled someone into thinking I was funny and smart. Dekker was born. 'Dekker' was the fake name I had to use on the air, as my real name wasn't 'edgy' enough to be a rock 'n' roll DJ. I hated the name Dekker. ''After a few years, I made the jump to 99X, where someone thought I was funny and smart, offering me the night shift. This was the big time. I was ready. I brought my 'A' game. It was going well, until the station was sold and new ownership thought I was too funny and too smart. I was taken off the air for being too creative. Their words, not mine. ''Realizing I was pretty good at tricking people into thinking I was funny and smart, I moved to New York. The next victim of my misrepresentation was WRXP, a new rock station that had launched in the city. It was fine. I was a weekend and fill-in jock. I got to use my real name on the air. The station's transmitter was on top of the Empire State Building, which meant my voice emitted from up there, which I thought was pretty cool. The station was eventually sold and the format was flipped, so we all lost our jobs. Think about that: A whole staff cut because some crazy man convinced a group of well-to-do people who wanted more money that he could deliver that to them if they invested in a news station with an entertainment tilt. Ultimately, the joke was on him, as the station miserably failed. I appreciated his ability to fool others on such a large scale, though. ''Afterward, disenchanted with the industry, I got into video production. I still do that. But Eric pulled me back into radio, and I'm glad he did. It helped me realize that I might actually be funny and smart. Maybe.'
Eric calls me the Pilot of The Von Haessler Doctrine, I make sure they get the show off the ground at 9am and land safely at 12pm. Working on my 22nd year at WSB. In radio 30 years.  Married 25 years. S. Air Force veteran. 34 year old daughter, Sarah won the Mrs. Nebraska America title in 2017. Most enjoyable hobby is powerlifting, helps me carry more guns and ammo. I’m Erick’s go-to source of info for weaponry questions.

The 24/7 Doctrine





News

  • After Matt Ryan and Jameis Winston traded touchdown pass after touchdown pass, it came down to a few wacky flips near the goal line. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers nearly pulled off a miracle. But, in the end, the Atlanta Falcons finally got a much-needed victory to bounce their way. Ryan threw for 354 yards and three touchdowns as the Falcons snapped a three-game losing streak, holding off Tampa Bay 34-29 Sunday in Winston's return as the Bucs' starter. The Falcons (2-4) scored on their first three possessions and held off a wild comeback by Tampa Bay (2-3), avoiding their first 1-5 start since 2007. The Bucs lost their third in a row. 'It was all hands on deck,' Atlanta coach Dan Quinn said. Especially on the final play . Winston and the Bucs drove to the Atlanta 21 but were out of timeouts. With the Falcons dropping nearly everyone toward the end zone, expecting a pass, Winston took the snap and darted straight up the middle of the field. When he was about to be tackled at the 10, he pitched the ball toward receiver Adam Humphries, who was so intent on going for the winning score he couldn't hang on. The ball skipped to Mike Evans, who blindly flung it in the direction of DeSean Jackson along the sideline at the 5. Jackson might've had a chance to dive for the end zone, but he couldn't come up with another bouncing ball. It rolled harmlessly out of bounds to end the game. Jackson ripped off his helmet and kicked the pylon in disgust on his way to the locker room. 'The play is a play you run once,' tight end O.J. Howard said. 'It was a great call. We almost got it.' Winston, who was suspended for the first three games of the season and came off the bench in Week 4, threw for 395 yards and four TDs. His performance, though, was marred by a pair of interceptions, one a deep ball that was picked off at the Atlanta 1 and a deflected pass in the end zone that ricocheted high in the air and was grabbed by Brian Poole to deny a red-zone scoring chance. Ryan's three TD passes gave him 274 in his career, passing Joe Montana for 16th on the career list. 'Obviously it's very special any time your name is brought up with Joe's,' Ryan said. 'But I'm more excited about the win.' He also had a big scramble on third-and-9, powering for a 13-yard gain that set up his final scoring pass. Quinn made a gutsy call with just over a minute remaining, sending on Matt Bryant to attempt a 57-yard field goal with Atlanta clinging to a 31-29 lead. Bryant's kick just cleared the crossbar, extending the Falcons' lead. The 43-yard-old Bryant put everything into the kick and immediately grabbed his right hamstring before hobbling off the field. Quinn's decision forced the Bucs to go for a touchdown. 'I can't say enough about Matt Bryant and the kick he had,' Quinn gushed. 'He's definitely one of the most mentally tough players I've had a chance to coach.' JULIO'S DAY Julio Jones went another game without a touchdown catch. The Falcons didn't mind a bit. Jones had 10 receptions for 143 yards — his third 100-yard game of the season — and constantly drew attention away from his teammates. That allowed Austin Hooper, Mohamed Sanu and Tevin Coleman to haul in scoring passes. Jones has gone 11 straight regular-season games without a TD since a Nov. 26, 2017, victory over Tampa Bay, when he had two scoring catches. BUC-KLING DOWN The beleaguered Tampa Bay defense, which is guided by former Falcons coach Mike Smith, was shredded in the first half for three touchdowns, a last-second field goal and 275 yards. It showed a bit of improvement after the break, actually forcing Atlanta to punt on three straight possessions. But, with the game on the line, the Bucs surrendered a 75-yard drive capped by Ryan's 6-yard TD pass to Coleman and a 36-yard possession that set up Bryant's long field goal. Tampa Bay came into the game allowing 34.75 points per game, more than any team in the league. INJURY REPORT Atlanta's receiving corps took a beating. Calvin Ridley, who was leading the Falcons with six touchdown catches, went out in the first half with an ankle injury and didn't return. Sanu was sidelined in the second half with a hip problem after hauling in a 35-yard touchdown pass. The loss of two receivers forced the Falcons to give more playing time to Justin Hardy, Marvin Hall and Russell Gage. Hardy had three catches and Gage came up with a big catch on Atlanta's touchdown drive in the fourth quarter. The Bucs lost defensive tackle Gerald McCoy, who walked slowly off the field in the fourth quarter with an undisclosed injury. Also, cornerback Ryan Smith was evaluated for a possible concussion. UP NEXT Buccaneers: Return home next Sunday to host the Cleveland Browns (2-3-1). Falcons: Host the struggling New York Giants (1-5) on Monday, Oct. 22, to close out a stretch of five home games in the first seven weeks of the season. ___ Follow Paul Newberry on Twitter at www.twitter.com/pnewberry1963 . His work can be found at https://apnews.com/search/paul%20newberry ___ For more AP NFL coverage: https://apnews.com/tag/NFLfootball and www.twitter.com/AP_NFL
  • A small plane crashed while taking off at the Gwinnett County Airport on Sunday afternoon, officials said. The two occupants of the plane were able to exit safely before the plane caught fire at about 12:40 p.m., according to a statement from the Gwinnett County Department of Fire and Emergency Services. The occupants, an instructor and a student, were not seriously injured, the fire department said. One was evaluated and released by paramedics at the scene, and the other said they were not injured. READ MORE: 1 reported dead in plane crash in Paulding County The Cessna 172 “experienced a nose dive and hard landing” while taking off from Runway 7 at Briscoe Field, the Federal Aviation Administration said in a statement. The plane went up in flames, but crews put out the fire shortly after 1 p.m., officials said. The aircraft was deemed a total loss. The crash occurred just a day after another small plane crashed in Paulding County, killing the pilot. In other news:
  • A Tennessee mother and four children were found dead Monday in what investigators believe was a murder-suicide. >> Watch the news conference here According to the Columbia Daily Herald, a family member arrived at the Maury County home after 6 p.m. Monday and discovered the bodies, authorities said.  The mother, whose name has not been released, appeared to have died from 'a self-inflicted gunshot wound,' the Daily Herald reported. The children – three girls and a boy – ranged from 8 to 16 years old and were home-schooled, authorities told WSMV. >> Read more news stories  Maury County Sheriff Bucky Rowland said investigators do not believe there are any additional suspects, and the children's father was not at home during the incident, WZTV reported. 'We don't believe we have a suspect at large at this time, but we are going to be thorough with this investigation,' Rowland said, according to the Daily Herald. He added: 'As emergency responders, we see gruesome scenes regularly, but this is not one that you see every day.' Read more here.
  • A Melania Trump spokeswoman is asking people to boycott Atlanta rapper T.I. because of his promotional album video that shows a woman resembling the first lady taking off her clothes in the oval office. Trump's communications director, Stephanie Grisham, tweeted Saturday asking how the video was acceptable. How is this acceptable? #disgusting #boycottT.I. @Tip https://t.co/HvnFahfsVK — Stephanie Grisham (@StephGrisham45) October 13, 2018 T.I., whose real name is Clifford Harris, tweeted Friday 'Dear 45, I ain't Kanye' before sharing the video. The woman is wearing a jacket that reads 'I REALLY DON'T CARE, DO U?'  Trump wore a jacket with that wording on her way to visit migrant children in Texas.  She said recently in an interview with ABC News that she wore the jacket to troll reporters. Those tweets follow T.I. posting on Instagram that he was done working with rapper Kanye West, who is a President Donald Trump supporter. TRENDING STORIES: Drivers say cars had to be towed from gas station after pumping bad fuel Police hope new video will help solve model's mysterious murder 13-year-old girl missing after parents found dead in Wisconsin  
  • One person in Mississippi is in custody after the Bolivar County sheriff said that a baby was stabbed, WTVA reported. The baby was then placed in an oven at the home and baked, the sheriff told WTVA. >> Read more trending news  The person, whose name and relationship to the baby has not been released, is in the Bolivar County Regional Correctional Facility, according to Sheriff Kelvin Williams. Williams said deputies found the baby, whose age has not been determined, after being called to the home Monday evening, WTVA reported. They are unsure though when the baby died. The Mississippi Bureau of Investigation and the crime lab are investigating.
  • A Massachusetts school employee is under investigation by the Secret Service for allegedly threatening President Donald Trump on social media. >> Watch the news report here The employee, a Fitchburg Public Schools paraprofessional who works with special-needs students, has also been placed on administrative leave pending the outcome of this investigation. Her husband, a principal at Fitchburg's Longsjo Middle School, spoke only to WFXT about his wife's alleged tweet, which was captured in screen shots and shared multiple times on social media. At first, the tweet caught the attention of the local police force and subsequently of federal agents. 'People have their preferences, but sometimes you should just keep your 2 cents to yourself, you know?' said Roger Valcourt, a parent. The tweet, posted Oct, 10 which read, 'No just kill Trump,' has been generating controversy around town. Parents were shocked to learn what happened, saying both the principal and his wife are star educators. After the tweet was reported to Ashburnham police, the Secret Service launched an investigation, telling WFXT that they are aware of the incident and investigate all threats made against the president. 'I don’t know what was going through her head, I guess, but it’s not a good thing to say you want to kill the president,' said Alex Clemente, a parent. Clemente, a veteran who fought in Iraq, says the tweet went too far. 'Even though you don’t like him, you can’t say that,' Clemente said. >> Read more trending news  The employee's husband told WFXT in an off-camera interview she meant no harm, saying, 'It was lapse in judgment, a mistake. It was a bad choice of words that were taken out of context. My wife is not a malicious person, and has an impeccable work record. She’s embarrassed by this situation.' While Craig Chalifoux spoke to WFXT on the record, his wife isn't being identified because she is not facing any charges. The superintendent told WFXT that the employee has been placed on paid administrative leave, saying, in a statement, this 'is being done to protect her interests as well as the interest of the district [and] it will allow the investigation to conclude and minimize any disruption and distraction and protects her safety and security.