It took Greg three months to write his bio, putting it off by claiming to be busy, though he never really gave any insight into what that meant. When he finally did send something, this is what it read:
"You want to know more about me? Why? What does it matter? Does anyone really care? Just writing about myself and putting it out there as if people are interested is self-serving. People will probably read it and think, 'This guy is a jerk to think I have any regard to his existence.' So, I'd rather not make that assumption. If someone really wants to know more, they can email me. I'll gladly respond to them. When I'm not busy."
After several requests for something a bit more in-depth (most of which were ignored), we received this at 3:37 one morning:
"Okay. I'll write about my radio experience, hopefully quelling any idea I'm a complete fraud.
"'I started as an intern for the Regular Guys in January of 2001. It was there I formed a friendship with Eric, though that was quite an uphill battle, as Eric was initially cold and excluding. Maybe it was the backwards baseball hat and ball bearing necklace I would wear at the time. If I saw a guy like that, I would've been cold and excluding too. Eventually I won him over by fooling him into thinking I was funny and smart.
"'While interning, the company that owned 96Rock launched a small alternative rock station - 96.7 The Buzz. Being a cheap corporation, they didn't want to hire any real talent, assuming they could get kids around the station to fill out the on-air roster for low pay and promotional items. They were right. I put together a demo and once again I fooled someone into thinking I was funny and smart. Dekker was born. "Dekker" was the fake name I had to use on the air, as my real name wasn't "edgy" enough to be a rock 'n' roll DJ. I hated the name Dekker.
"'After a few years, I made the jump to 99X, where someone thought I was funny and smart, offering me the night shift. This was the big time. I was ready. I brought my "A" game. It was going well, until the station was sold and new ownership thought I was too funny and too smart. I was taken off the air for being too creative. Their words, not mine.
"'Realizing I was pretty good at tricking people into thinking I was funny and smart, I moved to New York. The next victim of my misrepresentation was WRXP, a new rock station that had launched in the city. It was fine. I was a weekend and fill-in jock. I got to use my real name on the air. The station's transmitter was on top of the Empire State Building, which meant my voice emitted from up there, which I thought was pretty cool. The station was eventually sold and the format was flipped, so we all lost our jobs. Think about that: A whole staff cut because some crazy man convinced a group of well-to-do people who wanted more money that he could deliver that to them if they invested in a news station with an entertainment tilt. Ultimately, the joke was on him, as the station miserably failed. I appreciated his ability to fool others on such a large scale, though.
"'Afterward, disenchanted with the industry, I got into video production. I still do that. But Eric pulled me back into radio, and I'm glad he did. It helped me realize that I might actually be funny and smart. Maybe.'"