Knowing how your appliances work can make you a savvier shopper and more informed when it comes to repairs. This issue I speak with a water heater…

Literally…

It was half-past eight on a cool, rainy Manhattan evening. I waited in the corner booth of the restaurant, trying not to draw attention to myself. Attention was never good in a place like this.

I was to meet my buddy Tight Pauly here.

I’m sure you’ve heard of Tight Pauly. He’s a T & P valve – that’s right, a Temperature and Pressure relief valve. He’s been working in the water heating business for almost 23 years and is getting ready to retire. He promised me an interview before he retired.

About 8:45 I heard some commotion over by the bar. It sounded like someone was letting off a little steam.

I knew Pauly had arrived.

After the pleasantries and a couple of belts (Pauly can really hold his water), I got down to business.

“Tight Pauly, I understand you are retiring soon,” I said. “What gives?”

“Well, unfortunately, I do,” replied Pauly, water seeping around his eyes.

Pauly’s story is a sad and all too familiar tale of a blue-collar worker nearing the end of his career. But let him tell you.

“For people to understand me, they really need to understand my place of employment and how it works.”

And then the story came flooding out of him.

“I work in a water heater.

“Now some people will call it a hot water heater, but those people are all wrong. See, hot water don’t need to be heated, so technically it’s a cold water heater. It’s my job as the T&P valve to make sure that the water heater don’t become a huge, pressurized bomb. But I get ahead of myself.

“Let’s start with the basics. This is how it all happens.

“Cold water runs into a tank, which could range upwards of 70 gallons or more. The line bringing in the cold water hooks to the top of the tank to a fitting at the end of an internal line that takes the cold water near the bottom of the tank. This way, the cold water gets warmed as it descends into the tank, and since it is denser than the warm water, it ends up staying near the bottom leaving the hot water near the top.

“Usually, the cold water has a cutoff valve to make maintenance, draining, and replacement easier. Being a cold water cutoff valve is easy work though. No one ever aspires to be a cold water cutoff valve. It’s what we call ‘women’s work’.”

It was obvious that 23 years in the water heating business did nothing for Tight Pauly’s political correctness.

“The exit pipe for the hot water comes out the heater near the cold water inlet, except dat the hot water is taken from the top of the tank, which works well since that’s where all the hot water is.

“Near the top of the tank, that’s where I work. I make sure that the tank don’t explode if the pressure builds too high while the water is heating up. If the pressure gets to be too much, or the temperature too high, I will release water or temperature thus reducing the pressure.

“It’s kinda like the same job my cousin Myron the Breaker has over at the electrical box. He will stop an electrical fire by tripping and stopping the flow of electricity.

“It’s a very important job.”

And a job, which Pauly is proud to tell you, that he’s been doing for over 23 years.

“See, 40-50 years ago when the pressure of the expanding water built up to too high a level, the water would just go back out the pipe, back into the water supply. But now days, there are deese back flow prevention valves that allow the water to flow in only one direction.

“That’s how I got my job. Since the water can’t go backwards no more, the pressure would just build and build until the whole tank would blow. That would be nasty.

“So I keep my eye on the pressure and the temperature, and when they hit a certain level, and they can’t go backwards, and all the faucets in the house are closed, I release some into my discharge tube or into an expansion tank if youse are lucky enough to have one of those things.”

So why are you calling it quits?

“Stress mainly. The pressure has just taken its toll. 23 years is a long time, it’s a lot of pressure day in and day out. A lot of T & P valves can’t take it and give out. My cousin Jimmy, he went bad after just one year on the job. He couldn’t stop shooting off at the spout. He was replaced. It happens.

“I also want to go out on top, on my terms. The whole team is leaving – Me, Joe Thermostat, the Burner twins – we are all calling it quits. It’s time to move on.

“It’s a dying art, being a T & P valve. You know the world is going tankless, and there just isn’t the need for us guys as there once was.

It was getting late. Tight Pauly was starting to slow down.

“Any regrets,” I asked as I let Pauly take care of the check.

“Heck no,” exclaimed Pauly. “I held up under big pressure for over 23 years. I was there in the utility closet when the air conditioner blew hot air in the middle of summer. I’ve seen furnace filters come and go, but I stayed right there, doing my job, handling the pressure.

“Actually, retiring will be quite a relief.”

How fitting.

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