Posted: 1:52 p.m. Friday, June 7, 2013
By Bob Lynch
I don't even know where to begin this time, y'all. This is just too good and, simultaneously, just way too awful. Like comically bad. Just, here, watch this:
Man. Just, man. I would - and easily could - dedicate this installment of Message Board Idiots to fisking that video, breaking it down part by part to demonstrate how fallacious the "arguments" made therein are. And not only are they fallacious, but some of them rest on entirely false premises altogether. I could also point out the terrible quality of narration, the shitty setting (That bar is where very lonely people do nothing more than reaffirm their loneliness as they quietly sip mid-grade liquor while nervously building up the confidence to speak to someone, anyone, only to fall short, call it a night, and further their depression - that, and apparently dance like a goober to a cartoon's theme song.), and the frustrated angst of the video's creator, which oozes out of every shitty flash animation second-by-second.
"Wrrarg Ole Miss! They done cheated! That's it, to the YOUTUBES! That'll show them! It will expose them for the frauds they are! And it will expose to the world just how great my sense of humor is! /cracksMountainDewCodeRed /takesanotherbiteofEZMac /cries"
But wait, of course there's more.
I can't tell if the person creating these videos is a twelve-year-old who has convinced himself that he's clever, a technologically challenged Baby Boomer who has convinced himself that he is clever, or someone in between with a few mental and personality disorders.
Hugh Freeze, why would you enter the office of some armless lady, only to have her accuse you of bigotry and nefariousness?! Don't you have your own office that's modern enough to not have fucking filing cabinets in it? I mean, who uses those things anymore besides old dentists and shitty secretaries?
"Boy! Tonight is going to be an all-nighter!"
"Because today is National Signing Day, and I have to help my team."
The dialog is so bad that it's not really all that bad. It's almost like the dialog of a Wes Anderson movie without the mumbling and overall twee-ness of it. This video also leads me to conclude that this guy isn't a Mississippi State fan as I had initially thought. His "TSUN IS CHEETIN" arguments are straight out of the Genespack handbook, but those are so vapid and unoriginal that I suppose anyone with enough cognition to operate a keyboard and a mouse could come up with them on their own.
As you can see, this guy's work moves well beyond SEC football. Here he is mocking USA fans who celebrated the Yanks 4-3 defeat of Die Nationalelf (yes, that's what the Germans call their soccer team) and, in doing so, making references to Hitler and the Holocaust.
That's hardly his most current video either. Here, check out his channel, where you'll see one for last night's game one of the NBA finals. You'll also see that this guy loves making videos about politics and religion (don't you dare start it, commentariat) and.... foot fungal creams?
So if you hate Ole Miss, think American soccer fans are lame, and have gnarly foot fungus, this guy's YouTube channel has got you covered.